After about 6 months I've made peace with the fact I have no regular cycle, so no regular ovulation. I'm very eager to have my doctor's appointment to figure out why and if it can be 'fixed'. Unfortunately, the doctor is apparently not so eager to see me. He's decided to retire and the 'substitute' doctor is only part time so my appointment which was supposed to be today is now postponed until December 4th.
Oh joy. More waiting. I've barely made it this long, I've been counting down for awhile now. But I also realize I have found a lot of peace in the last few months. God hasn't told me that I am not going to be a mother, He allows me to hope and plan and try without showing me any reason not to. I just have to continue to learn, it's all in His hands. That may be the whole reason I have to wait so long to be a mother....to learn that very valuable lesson. And to learn not to be offended by God's choice to teach me that lesson anyway He sees fit, because He knows what it will take for me to learn it. I'm even learning to be grateful to Him for that. I haven't mastered that gratefulness, but I am learning.
