Bust A Myth - Every Infertile Follows the Same Script

The challenge "Bust a Myth" is being put out there by National Infertility Awareness Week, to take one of the many myths about infertility and write a post on it, then linking it up to the NIAW site so that it can be read, and spread the truth about infertility.

The myth I chose to bust is that every infertile couple's journey follows the same script, going a little something like this:

If you ever declare you are trying to have a baby then people just don't understand any path that doesn't follow this, like if it's meant to happen just letting it happen naturally without any artificial assistance, or if it's not meant to happen naturally just not having children at all.  People seem to think that just because you want to be a parent you will stop at nothing to have the children you desire.

That isn't always the case.  Jumping from treatment to treatment is not only physically and emotionally exhausting, it takes a toll on your marriage, your work, your other relationships, your spiritual life, your finances, etc.  You can almost completely deplete all those resources pursuing every treatment, and then you think there is something left to raise a baby with? 

Personally, I want to have a physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy body at my disposal to raise my child with, and a healthy support system of relationships to give my child the best I can.  I believe in our case I have to weigh that choice for every treatment option, if I feel it would lead to a life that would actually turn out to be at the expense of our child, which I have weighed and have personally chosen to stop the pursuit of all treatments. I now believe that if I am meant to have a child it will happen completely naturally or super-naturally, and if that doesn't happen we will live child-free. I would rather have no children than tear apart my life in pursuit of one.

If there is one thing most everyone dislikes, not only TTC's or infertiles', it is people who make assumptions about our life, someone who makes suggestions rather than listens (especially if that person has no experience with the issue), and tries to pigeon-hole you into a cookie-cutter outcome and ignore the fact we're all different in so many ways, no two people will have the exact same journey in any area of life.

If you want to learn more about infertility, check this out.

If you want to join the movement, click here.

Trying to be patient

I had big plans
More powerful than a locomotive
Innocent as a flower growing
In the middle of a barley field
I didn't understand
That you could have pockets overflowing with determination
Give it all you got with no congratulations
And still be at the bottom of the hill
Waiting at the station
With the rails laid out before me
Trying to be patient
Hoping it didn't leave

Sitting on a suitcase
Crossing fingers counting the days til it arrived
I was sure that it was coming
But somehow it just passed me by
Oh how could I be so naive
I always thought this train would stop for me

I had a ticket
That was paid for with my hard earned money
I thought that maybe that would count for something
Wasn't looking for a free ride
But nobody mentioned
Sometimes all the passenger seats are taken
The cars are full and it's a rude awakening
When you're left behind
So disappointed... yeah
I never even got to try
Instead of living in the moment
I've been wasting all this time