....Open up to find
Your action leaves behind
The very hope that's given for
the world to feel alive
Oh And the time has come to realize
And see the plan you've been designed for
So face the fear of all unknown
And see the heart inside
So open up your eyes
Today my eyes were opened. My actions will leave something behind, with or without having biological children. The time has come to realize and see the plan I've been designed for, and that plan is already in play now, and it will be the same with or without giving birth. I wasn't chasing God's heaven, I was chasing my heaven, and now I have to face the fear I have of letting go of my idea of heaven.
But, strangely enough, I feel so excited and at peace about where I feel God is calling me. All I know is he's calling me to be a beacon of truth, and that there is a whole world already alive that needs my hope, that needs what my actions will leave behind. And all at once my purpose has become so clear and yet so vague, and I'm not only chasing the real heaven, but I finally feel like I'm touching it.
I still don't know for sure that children do or do not have a place in my plan, whether they play a part in my heavenly purpose or not, but I do know that if I had a child or was with child today, I would not have been open to find, my eyes would not have been opened. I would not have heard God's message to me the same way. I would not have seen all His children who need me too.
