Busyness is such a great distraction. I don't have much of a problem with idle hands, for me it's an idle mind, if I have nothing pre-occupying my mind it DWELLS on mostly things I don't want to dwell on these days. But being tremendously busy has alleviated that for the last two months or so.
Work has been crazy busy. I was able to fly to Calgary for some more training which is always great but hectic. And then with hiring another admin person to train, yet take some of the load off, yet the load getting bigger because we have another admin! ACK! And then finally a vacation for a week. Then before you know it, it's Christmas season and present buying and parties and gatherings begin.
Finally I have a day to myself, to rest, to find peace, to find quiet, and reflect, and of course the mind starts to dwell. I realize it's now been 2 months of being regular (in the ovulation sense of the word), and knowing my exact ovulation day. Often I hear the advice (as you do SOOOO often in this position of being childless) that as soon as people have used an ovulation test and know their exact ovulation date, it's only a month or two before they get pregnant. Once again, I do not fall into the 'norm', whatever happens to everyone else doesn't happen to me.
I am beginning to hope more and more for the revelation of a purpose, any purpose, if I'm not to be a mother, what am I to do? What else am I built for, what other kind of 'heaven' can I chase? Could be I just want something to distract me from the dwelling.
