Whisper Sweet Nothings

So, as I've said for 5 years now, God has given me no answers about what motherhood will look like for me, I feel I haven't had a clear "Yes, you will be a mother" or "No, you will not be a mother", whatever that motherhood entails.

The only whispers I've received are, 'hope' and 'expect miracles'. Not very concrete :)

But the whispers are getting louder. 

When I shared my 'expect miracles' revelation with my husband, he declared firmly 'He WILL give you children.'  This is very unlike him, because until I STTC in April he was of the belief if we don't have children naturally then God doesn't want him (and therefore us) to parent. There hasn't been any part of this journey, or his feelings regarding parenting, that he has been confident in. He also has done as much as he can to avoid getting my hopes up because of the crash down from those hopes, so he has avoided saying anything that increases my hope. So any tiniest bit of hope from him, I know it's from God.

Then, my mom has chosen to focus on praying for me to have children during their Church's 'Prayer & Fasting' month, she decided to practice some listening prayer (asking God a question and waiting for an answer in the form of words or picture that come to mind). When she asked God about the possiblity of me still having children she heard 'in His time'.  This is something I've heard, phrased just like that, as well.  It's vague I know, but it's confirmation....it's not just me hearing this now. And I know my mom is seeking His will now, even though she's praying for me to have a baby anyway, the optimism she is sharing with me is from Him.

It's nice to hear Him speaking through other people.  I'm rarely ever sure because some people just speak the language of hope for "optimism's sake".  I don't want unfounded optimism, I want truth.

The whispering of nothings yet they are sweet all the same, because when they come from Him they are everything.